The count downs happened. Whether we’re talking the TV sit-coms and dramas doing their New Year’s Eve episodes, the year in review news programs, or all the New Year’s Resolution (or non-resolution) blogs, the end of one year and beginning of another got us thinking about the past and future all at the same time. And while I’ve been accused of opposing the norm just for the fun of it (as opposed to because I really have a point of view) I’m feeling more like going with the flow on this one. (I’m just a tad late to the party).
A couple of years back I received a word (as in I believe God pressed this word into my consciousness) to meditate on for the year. So, rather than construct a list of resolutions to try to keep and then beat myself up over when I failed to keep them, I meditated. The word was INTENTIONAL. It fit my life at the time. We had just purchased a house. Our youngest would be old enough to start school in the fall and we needed to decide what that meant: Would we home school her the way we had her older siblings at that age or was she going to go where none of our crew had gone before–to public Kindergarten?
Intentional fit me personally as well. I was emerging from a mind-set that held me captive to self-destructive ways of thinking about God and my role as a wife and mother. I needed to move away from reactionary ways and rote ways of behavior in order to understand who I was choosing to be and why. I needed to be intentional. And, over all I think the word informed my life that year.
Last year my word was RISK. This too fit, pushing me to explore new ways of thinking about art and living as I continued to pursue school and tried to figure out who I am, who I honestly want to be. I kayaked with abandon. And I took my professor’s feedback to stop being so “romantic” to heart, ending the semester building a small scale refrigerator with a screen door that was to sit on top of some over-sized puzzle pieces. The piece was unsuccessfully finished and I may decide to redo it but the idea was risky and fun and freeing.
All that was to say this–the closer January first came the more conscious I was about possibly “receiving” a new word for 2012. I read a couple other bloggers’ posts about their experience with receiving and/or picking words in the past and for the up coming year. And, I started mentally praying things like, “Well God? What do You think?”
Then I got my word. About a week before New Years there it was.
“Naw…That’s just my guilt talking.”
And I waited another day. “Maybe,” I told myself, “maybe I’m just not going to get a word this year. That’d be too bad. I really like getting words.”
And I waited another day. I almost forgot about wanting a word. I worked, went to a movie with my son and daughter, got ready for her birthday, checked out Facebook and…there it was again.
“No God. That can’t be my word. It’s too much like a resolution. I don’t want a resolution. I just want a word.” I started writing this post, thinking maybe I just needed to be in the receiving mind-set, be excited about hearing from God, get the right mo-jo going. Grrr…
I couldn’t shake it. I had my word. I could take it or leave it but it was there staring me in the face and it wasn’t going to change.
My word for 2012 is HEALTH. Yuk. Boring. Sounds way too much like eat celery, go jogging, and lose weight.
On the other hand…if I think of it following on the heals of INTENTIONAL and RISK, if these words for our lives are meant to be accumulative rather that exclusive my word for 2012 might actually be kind of interesting. (I hope I’m not just trying to add color to a black and white picture…I guess I’ll have to let you know next year).