Posted by: minnow | October 12, 2010

What Have We Done?

Ever get to the place where you ask yourself, “What have I done?”  I am kinda there right now, writing this post. Actually, this is a question I long to ask the Church as a whole–What have we done? Have we, because of our own self-righteousness, insecurities, and inability to comprehend a God who loves everyone unconditionally, caused hundreds of thousands of people to live sin-filled, secretive,  isolated, fear-filled lives?  Have we created a situation in which our prejudice and power forces others to choose between a monogamous love relationship or the Church’s approval?  When we refuse to protect homosexual relationships through marriage and as a Body label individuals immoral because of their sexual orientation are we not in truth forcing homosexuals to behave immorally?  Who can blame  a homosexual for thinking “to stay with any one relationship too long could be dangerous” especially when the people who would judge them as immoral because of that relationship also have the power to harm them–to take away an individual’s job or deny him promotions, to stop homosexuals from buying homes in “nice” neighborhoods  or keep her from gaining custody of her biological children?  And those examples are not even the most frightening, dangerous, or emotionally traumatic experiences homosexuals have had to face.

I can no more say all homosexual sex is bad than I can say all heterosexual sex is good.  And frankly, neither can you.  In the first place none of us are God.  We were never meant to discern between good and evil.  That was God’s job in the beginning and He would like it back!  Our job is to love. Love.  In the second place, despite our misquoting scripture the “abomination” is a word against unbridled behavior associated with orgies not homosexual sex per se.  God gave us that admonition because such behavior is not loving or honoring or healthy or safe–for anyone!

I would be the last person to tell a pastor he must, against his moral conviction, marry a gay or lesbian couple or even welcome them without reservation into her fellowship.  At. the. same. time. unless God Himself visits me with a word to the contrary I will not believe of my God that He supports the condemnation, hate, anger, violence, bigotry, and harm done to others in His name with regard to the issue of homosexuality.  Don’t fellowship with homosexuals.  Don’t invite them to your small groups or into your homes.  The homosexuals will not be missing much because you choose prejudice and ignorance over relationship.  But in American do not pretend that just because the Founding Fathers believed in God(as most of them confessed) you have the right to shackle others based on your religious tenets.

I didn’t have these links when I originally posted so I’m adding them now.  Check out the other posts which are a part of the syncroblog for October:

Kathy Baldock at Canyonwalker Connections – Marriage “I Do” For Who

Dan Brennan at Faith Dance – Sexual Difference, Marriage and Friendship

Steve Hayes at Khanya – Same Sex Marriage Synchroblog

Sonja Andrews at Calacirian – In Defense Of Marriage

John C O’Keefe – Exactly What Is Gay Marriage

Liz Dyer at Grace Rules – Nobody knows why or how same-sex marriage is harmful

Herman Groenewald at Along The Way – Same Sex Debate

David Henson at unorthodoxology – ban marriage

Erin Word at Mapless – Synchroblog: Legalizing Same Sex Marriage

Joshua Jinno at Antechurch – The Church Is Impotent

Kathy Escobar at The Carnival in My Head-It’s Easy to be Against Equal Rights When We Have Them

Tia Lynn at Abandon Image–Conservative Christians and Same-Sex Marriage


  1. […] Margaret Boelman at Minnowspeaks – What Have We Done […]

  2. […] Margaret Boelman at Minnowspeaks – What Have We Done […]

  3. […] Margaret Boelman at Minnowspeaks – What Have We Done […]

  4. […] Margaret Boelman at Minnowspeaks – What Have We Done […]

  5. Margaret – I loved your post and I know the feelings you speak of when it comes to being open about supporting same sex marriage and confronting the church (and many Christians) about their attitudes and beliefs about LGBT people – it’s scary! It took me quite a while to “come out” about my views. I’m glad you are also “coming out” as I think that we empower others who think the same way to do the same and eventually, if enough of us come out about being allies, things just might change.

  6. BTW – the link to my post is not working – here is the correct link if you don’t mind making a correction


  7. […] Herman Groenewald at Along The Way – Same Sex Debate Margaret Boelman at Minnowspeaks – What Have We Done David Henson at unorthodoxology – ban marriage Kathy Escobar at carnival in my head – […]

  8. Wow. I can totally relate to your experience with separate worlds. I, too, have integrated my blog into facebook world, opening myself up to all kinds of feedback from friends and family. It is hard.

    great post!

    Feel free to add my contribution to your link list

  9. Margaret, a sincere thank you for expressing your voice on this issue. I believe its important to not only embrace the dignity of our gay neighbors, it is also important to embrace the dignity of those who differ with us. 🙂 I would simply ask you to take a deeper look before you associate prejudices, hatred, and bashing with the other side–unless of course you want to do the same towards those with you differ. I know many of my conservative friends in Christ, who would see this as conservative-bashing and not engaging them respectfully for where they are.

  10. Dan–I probably should have included a disclaimer to say that not all who have difficulty with various issues pertaining to homosexuality behave in ugly ways and that it is the ugliness I find seriously unacceptable not the differing point of view. I do not believe being conservative means you are prejudice, hateful, etc. any more than I would say being liberal means being those things.

  11. […] why or how same-sex marriage is harmful Herman Groenewald at Along The Way – Same Sex Debate Margaret Boelman at Minnowspeaks – What Have We Done David Henson at unorthodoxology – ban […]

  12. […] Margaret Boelman at Minnowspeaks – What Have We Done […]

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